careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
