I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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