There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
