Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
