I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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