Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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