If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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