am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
