I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just tell him i said nine months
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
