i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
