Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
