Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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