the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i think i just lost a toe
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
