lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
