i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's rum buckets o'clock
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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