Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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