Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
