let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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