it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
