Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
