never play flip cup with pint glasses
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
