If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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