I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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