having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
