Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
