so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
