Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
