Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
