Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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