I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
