first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Bring me that man meat
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
