Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
