You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
