he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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