That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
