I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
