What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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