You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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