at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
