You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
