The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
