don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
