No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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