me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
