Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
