dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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