im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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