Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
