Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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