Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Someone shit on the floor
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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