He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
false alarm, still single
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
